How many words does it take to get the bottom of this fashion disaster?

One of these may look familiar to you. We are picking on the other one now.

The striped, sleeveless mock turtle neck sweater.

First, no article of clothing should take that many adjectives to describe it. Second, if it does, it's probably a good sign you shouldn't be wearing it. Third, if you do, at least hold your shoulders back and try to pull it off!