An Astounding Salute to Freddy Mercury

Haven't you ever just walked out of your house one morning and thought, "I just wish Freddy Mercury was still alive." Well if you haven't this guy has. Chopsticks is a rare find in S.E. Portland and you can find ever rarer individuals performing night in and night out. Freddy here is a regular. Unfortunately Freddy doesn't sing quite like the real Freddy. He tries but it really doesn't measure up. By measuring up I mean it's actually horrible. Only accentuated by the closing of his eyes when he screeches the high notes out.

Onto what you all came here for.

We start off with the shoes. A lovely pair of off white Asics running shoes. I can't quite be for certain on the brand but the reflective tape on the sides is usually a dead giveaway. They're so hip right now because they make him fast, like a cheetah. The ladies don't even know what hit them when this sex panther comes stalking. It's quite fitting that they match his lovely pair of tight fitting off white dockers. They retail for $14.99 at any general store you can find in the country. The Malaysian workers that create such masterpieces stitch them together with love. It's quite a pity you can't see the large blue stain that was on the left pocket. Apparently Freddy likes to sit down with pens in his pockets which is so fetch right now. We now proceed on to his shirt. It's a lovely ribbed sleeveless number for one of our favorite designers. Fruit of the Loom has been hailed the world over for their cutting edge designs and brash bucking of the status quo. They introduced labelless shirts for gods sakes! It really is quite an amazing moustache Freddy is sporting and this picture doesn't come close to doing it justice. I only hope you can imagine in your minds as I was a grand witness to it.